I just posted a question on my other blog that really will proffer no finite answers but....in hitting "Publish Post", I realized the answer was given to me on the Camino.
The non-answer is within the question itself.
The answer is that it hasn't been my time. I have been, for a time, for others. What a lovely gift to have been given, of being a gift. As perplexing as this sounds, I will bet that you, my Camino friends will understand.